Who links to me? X-ray Rocks: Doctor Notes

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Doctor Notes

I stole this from the furry monkey
It's so funny!

Real Doctors Notes

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
11. She is numb from her toes down.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Tomorrow at work they are "going live" with a new computer system in the ER. They plan on "phasing out" the ward clerks/secretaries. Now with this new system the Dr. has to enter the info on all the pts and order all the tests - by himself - no I'm NOT kidding. Ridiculous. They don't spend enough time with the pts right now. Personally, if I were a pt I would rather have my Dr suturing my hand or something instead of entering orders!!!


Mary said...

Are they using IBEX? If so, there is no way in hell they can get rid of the clerks....atleast at our hospital. They still have to make sure the Drs are entering the right stuff, calling us, calling the RTs, calling lab ect....

so uh, good luck with that! lol Our daily census for the ER is only about 70 patients a day, but we still have 2 ER dr's for the noon-10pm hours....this system takes so much more work than normal dictating...

X-ray Rocks! said...

It's not IBEX - it's called something Med. So far it's NOT working. Big disaster with everyone mad at each other and they shut it off. So they plan on trying it again in a week or so once they 'work the bugs out'. Ha. Ha.