Diaper Up

Last night at work I put a diaper on a little old lady with explosive diarrhea. Fun. Fun.

When she tried to stand up for the x-ray she grabbed her rear end, "Oh, oh it's coming out again!"
Me - "Ok. Well, I have this diaper-sort-of-thing(that is a diaper). Should we use that?"
Her-"Ok. I guess so."

After the x-ray she went to sit back down, "Oh NO! It's really coming out now! What should I do?!?"
A very pungent stink starts to fill the room.
Me-"Well....hmm....I don't really have anything to clean you up with here....hmm."
She rode back to the ER sitting in her stinky diaper.

I felt bad for her.

Slap Me

A patient smacked me today! It was a 63 year old woman (I can't say lady). She just reached over and gave me a hard slap on the butt.
What?!
Crazy old woman....The automatic reaction is to smack her back, but of course, I can't do that. I could, but then I wouldn't have a job, so I restrained myself.
That doesn't mean I didn't punish her.
She was super crazy-they found her passed out in a snowbank and she has severe frostbite on her legs, with big pussy blisters. yuck.
She slapped me...I 'accidently' hit her legs with the wheelchair when she's sitting down. Oops.
Now we're almost even.