Doctor Notes

I stole this from the furry monkey
It's so funny!

Real Doctors Notes

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
11. She is numb from her toes down.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Tomorrow at work they are "going live" with a new computer system in the ER. They plan on "phasing out" the ward clerks/secretaries. Now with this new system the Dr. has to enter the info on all the pts and order all the tests - by himself - no I'm NOT kidding. Ridiculous. They don't spend enough time with the pts right now. Personally, if I were a pt I would rather have my Dr suturing my hand or something instead of entering orders!!!