Say What?!?

I love the new voice recognition transcription.

Soooo funny.....

Sometimes you have to wonder what the Dr was trying to say.

Add a Dr with a lisp or accent and it's hilarious.

Actually ER notes:

~

This 17 year old uterus fell in a hole today.

~

Patient brought in a brief video tape of the accident and it looks like the colon was behind him and took him and the patient fell forward.

~

This 20 near all was seen by myself a week ago.

~

It feels like I would patient Mark got kicked in nuts.

(the pt's name was Ronald -so???)

Anything Else?

Actual conversation with a patient:

Patient - "I'm cold. Why is it so cold in here? Are you cold? Why is this bed so hard? Do I have to stand up? This is taking too long. I can't stand up. I want another warm blanket. Where's my friend? Can my friend come back to my room now? You want me to stand up? How long will this take? Where's the nurse? Can I have a warm blanket now? How come these beds are so narrow? Do you have a bigger bed? Where's my friend? Why is it so cold? Ohhhhh, I'm sooooo sick. cough cough"

Too Much?

Is it too much to ask, that when a pt is pregnant you tell me before I do the x-ray?

Or don't even tell me, just check the box next to pregnant in the chart, I do check the chart before every patient.

Or don't bother, I know you're too busy to click on a tiny box.

'Cause I look like a retard when I ask the patient,
"Any chance you might be pregnant?"
"Yes, I'm due in 4 weeks (like duh)."
"Does the Dr. know that you're pregnant?"
"Yes, he knows (again duh!)."

I'm sorry! YOU ARE FAT! I can't tell if you are carrying a baby in that belly or a submarine sandwich! Sorr-y!

Throat Ca-chunk

Ok - try this: Take a drink of water. Do you hear a noise in your head when you swallow? No? Try it again. Bend your neck to the right, to the left, down, across. Yes? You can hear a noise?

THAT'S NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!

I did a video swallow (dumbest exam ever, next to VCUGs) today on a 30-something woman with the history of: chunking noise in head when swallows.

Yes. Really.

What did the Rad. tell her?

He said, "Huh, yeah I have that too. You're not crazy, there really is a noise. It's the cartilage in your neck. (Thank you for your money, have a good day.)"

She also had foot weakness, post-nasal drainage and sinus pressure. Really? A video swallow? Why?

Well, I like my job (and money) so come on crazy faker patients. Can't you think up any other imaginary symptoms?

~On a side note: I randomly picked up the optical space age thermometer today and took my temp. It was 100.1F

And I felt fine.........but I had a fever, so I had a perfectly good reason to go to the ER.

I took it a couple more times and it was 100.0 and 99.8

Oh, well I had better things to do than sit in the ER waiting room for 3 hours.~

Dark Angle

I'm a little burnt out, so I took a vacation from blogging. Why am I burnt out you ask? After only one year at this new job?
Well, I guess it's hard to be stretched in so many different directions. Starting Jan. 1 we saw a 50% increase in patient volume. The ER added more Dr.s and nurses. Did Radiology staff more people? No. They decreased the staff on each shift. Why?

Oh, that's easy - the hospital sold the radiology dept. to a private company.

We are no longer hospital employees, although we work in the hospital.

Strange? Yeah.

But now FINALLY!!! they've realized that we NEED more staff, so now I can breath and relax a tiny bit. Instead of one person doing 25 patients (unconscious, MVA, combative, drunk, bleeding), now 2 people share the load. And all the fun phone calls, order entering, processing and generally fire putting out of running a department.


~

Another reason I'm burnt out - I've x-rayed every single dead morgue patient we've had in 2009.
What are the odds of that happening? We get a lot of deaths and I work .8, so I'm not there all the time.

But I've had every single suicide, MVA and still born.

Part of me likes it and the other part is disgusted that I admitted that.

It's awful to see a man's body ripped open like a too full garbage bag, but unique because I'm the last person to x-ray them, too see into and through them.

When I was a kid, and I crossed a street, I would always stop in the middle of the road and touch the center line, because I thought no one else had ever touched that exact spot and so it was unique and special.

X-raying dead people is some what the same, in a way, unique.