X-ray Rocks

Say What?!?

2009-08-09T23:20:00.003-05:00

I love the new voice recognition transcription.

Soooo funny.....

Sometimes you have to wonder what the Dr was trying to say.

Add a Dr with a lisp or accent and it's hilarious.

Actually ER notes:

This 17 year old uterus fell in a hole today.

Patient brought in a brief video tape of the accident and it looks like the colon was behind him and took him and the patient fell forward.

This 20 near all was seen by myself a week ago.

It feels like I would patient Mark got kicked in nuts.

(the pt's name was Ronald -so???)

Anything Else?

2009-06-08T11:36:00.003-05:00

Actual conversation with a patient:

Patient - "I'm cold. Why is it so cold in here? Are you cold? Why is this bed so hard? Do I have to stand up? This is taking too long. I can't stand up. I want another warm blanket. Where's my friend? Can my friend come back to my room now? You want me to stand up? How long will this take? Where's the nurse? Can I have a warm blanket now? How come these beds are so narrow? Do you have a bigger bed? Where's my friend? Why is it so cold? Ohhhhh, I'm sooooo sick. cough cough"

Too Much?

2009-06-08T11:30:00.003-05:00

Is it too much to ask, that when a pt is pregnant you tell me before I do the x-ray?

Or don't even tell me, just check the box next to pregnant in the chart, I do check the chart before every patient.

Or don't bother, I know you're too busy to click on a tiny box.

'Cause I look like a retard when I ask the patient,
"Any chance you might be pregnant?"
"Yes, I'm due in 4 weeks (like duh)."
"Does the Dr. know that you're pregnant?"
"Yes, he knows (again duh!)."

I'm sorry! YOU ARE FAT! I can't tell if you are carrying a baby in that belly or a submarine sandwich! Sorr-y!

Throat Ca-chunk

2009-06-04T23:25:00.002-05:00

Ok - try this: Take a drink of water. Do you hear a noise in your head when you swallow? No? Try it again. Bend your neck to the right, to the left, down, across. Yes? You can hear a noise?

THAT'S NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!

I did a video swallow (dumbest exam ever, next to VCUGs) today on a 30-something woman with the history of: chunking noise in head when swallows.

Yes. Really.

What did the Rad. tell her?

He said, "Huh, yeah I have that too. You're not crazy, there really is a noise. It's the cartilage in your neck. (Thank you for your money, have a good day.)"

She also had foot weakness, post-nasal drainage and sinus pressure. Really? A video swallow? Why?

Well, I like my job (and money) so come on crazy faker patients. Can't you think up any other imaginary symptoms?

~On a side note: I randomly picked up the optical space age thermometer today and took my temp. It was 100.1F

And I felt fine.........but I had a fever, so I had a perfectly good reason to go to the ER.

I took it a couple more times and it was 100.0 and 99.8

Oh, well I had better things to do than sit in the ER waiting room for 3 hours.~

Dark Angle

2009-05-30T12:22:00.003-05:00

I'm a little burnt out, so I took a vacation from blogging. Why am I burnt out you ask? After only one year at this new job?
Well, I guess it's hard to be stretched in so many different directions. Starting Jan. 1 we saw a 50% increase in patient volume. The ER added more Dr.s and nurses. Did Radiology staff more people? No. They decreased the staff on each shift. Why?

Oh, that's easy - the hospital sold the radiology dept. to a private company.

We are no longer hospital employees, although we work in the hospital.

Strange? Yeah.

But now FINALLY!!! they've realized that we NEED more staff, so now I can breath and relax a tiny bit. Instead of one person doing 25 patients (unconscious, MVA, combative, drunk, bleeding), now 2 people share the load. And all the fun phone calls, order entering, processing and generally fire putting out of running a department.

~

Another reason I'm burnt out - I've x-rayed every single dead morgue patient we've had in 2009.
What are the odds of that happening? We get a lot of deaths and I work .8, so I'm not there all the time.

But I've had every single suicide, MVA and still born.

Part of me likes it and the other part is disgusted that I admitted that.

It's awful to see a man's body ripped open like a too full garbage bag, but unique because I'm the last person to x-ray them, too see into and through them.

When I was a kid, and I crossed a street, I would always stop in the middle of the road and touch the center line, because I thought no one else had ever touched that exact spot and so it was unique and special.

X-raying dead people is some what the same, in a way, unique.

Snap Crack

2008-12-23T18:13:00.003-06:00

Owww - Poor Bone Density!!!

This is old age - be careful - it can sneak up on you at any time.

So, old person + slip and fall = Complex fracture through the distal left femoral metadiaphysis, displaced posterior to proximal femur, multiple free butterfly fragments*.

*Butterfly fragment - a wedge-shaped shard of bone from the shaft of one of the long bones. This injury occurs at the apex of the fracture force and is a subtype of a comminuted fracture.

Past Flash

2008-12-23T18:08:00.002-06:00

Something really weird happened today.

You know that person in school that nobody liked? The one who came to school in smelly clothes and their parents were drug addicts or something?

I saw that person today at work.
Only now we're all grown up and adults. Only....she's still stinky and fat and....I think she might use drugs.
It was really weird.

Thankfully, I don't think she recognized me.

Chop Chop

2008-12-23T18:01:00.004-06:00

Amputation at the 2nd and 3rd digit.

Ouch. Again, another victim of a circular saw attack.

Conga Line

2008-12-22T16:20:00.002-06:00

This 80 y/o won't be doing the conga anytime soon.

Comminuted left hip intertrochanteric fracture.
Medial superior and inferior pubic rami fracture.

Fall Back

2008-12-22T16:10:00.006-06:00

60-year old woman fell backwards off of a 6 foot high stone wall.

Trimalleolar fracture with dislocation pre and post films.

You can see on the medial side where the fibula was sticking through her skin.

Falling Children

2008-12-16T17:58:00.008-06:00

Caution: Falling Children

Another kid that fell from an extreme height. This one fell off of a backyard zip-line, that her Dad built. Awww that's so sweet. Only he built it TWELVE feet in the air. Accident waiting to happen.

Radius Fracture

This kid never complained or cried. Very brave. I gave her extra stickers.

Casted up nicely.

I turned cast into a verb. Is that OK?

Failed Infanticide

2008-12-09T18:01:00.002-06:00

This case -here -of a woman who had an x-ray and discovered 23 needles in her body, makes me sick. Investigators believe her grandparents inserted the needles many years ago. They were trying to kill her, so her parents could have a baby boy.

Very Strange

2008-12-04T18:06:00.002-06:00

Check this site out - X-ray photos

It's very disturbing, but amazing.

or these - Funny x-ray pictures.

This one is a little bit too realistic - 3d accident

Pressure Cooker

2008-11-29T21:22:00.004-06:00

I canned vegetable soup.

And Peach/Mango/Passion fruit marmalade.

And Sugar cookies!

Monkey Bread

2008-11-28T23:22:00.004-06:00

Today I felt like monkey bread, in that everyone wanted a little piece of me.
Or maybe like Brad Pitt in his underwear.
Or a million dollars.

Anyway- I was very busy.
We were (of course) short staffed and swamped with old people. Every holiday it's the same way.
"Grandma, what! you look so old! I can't believe you've aged in a year! When did that happen!?!"
"And Grandpa you banged your knee four weeks ago and it's bruised? Your old skin hasn't healed rapidly like my young healthy skin!?! That can't be! To the ER we must flee! With the entire family! All 50 of us."

So....when we have actual sick, DYING patients, the faux sickies (semi-sickies) get upset that they have to wait and their 50 relatives complain and argue with the million other relatives in the waiting room and the fighting spills out the front door and the police come and arrest everyone and finally - - - - there is peace.

OK it wasn't quite that bad.

At one point I was the only tech in the hospital (the other person was out to get lunch). I was in the recovery room doing post op xrays on a hip and ER called with a stat port chest on a baby. I hung up and anesthesia called for a port chest for line placement.
It was that kind of day.
Everyone wanted everything STAT.

And everything was portable and none of the patients could stand or move themselves.

Honestly, I had a really great day.
It was fun.
I love crazy.

NPO U

2008-11-24T18:32:00.004-06:00

So, here's something new.
I had to look this up.
The Rad read this as "post maxillary LeFort BSSO".

A quick google -"Surgery to the maxilla is carried out at three levels named after a French Surgeon René Le Fort.

The Le Fort I osteotomy involves separating the maxilla and the palate from the skull above the roots of the upper teeth through an incision inside the upper lip. The maxilla is fixed in its new position with titanium screws and plates. Surgery time is around three hours. The operation is frequently carried out with the mandibular Sagittal split osteotomy when it is termed a Bimaxillary Osteotomy.

Bimaxillary osteotomies take around five hours to complete and may be carried out in conjunction with chin surgery and liposuction/liposculpture. On occasions bone grafting is required in the Le Fort I osteotomy to ensure bone healing and union across the bone cuts. The graft is frequently harvested from the hip. Bone graft material may be harvested from the chin or lower jaw in bimaxillary cases – leaving the hip intact.

Cosmetic improvement is startling for those individuals requiring these procedures, and with proper planning it is unusual for patients not to be delighted with outcome.

Interesting.....gross, painful, but very interesting.

Ouch.

NPO 4 U!!

Contact Sports

2008-11-23T19:32:00.004-06:00

I'm getting really sick of x-raying little ( 7-10y/o) kids injured in contact sports. This little boy was playing tackle football and he was wearing all the right protective equipment. It wasn't a pick-up game in someones backyard.
His parents were surprised that he had a broken femur. "It was just a little kid. (that tackled their son and broke his femur)" the dad said.
When you go to a Mighty Midgets' (or whatever their team is called) game and there's an ambulance and paramedic crew parked on the sideline it indicates that this might be a dangerous sport.

This is the fifth femur fx on a child under 10 that I have done in the last 2 months.

Robin Hood

2008-11-19T13:10:00.003-06:00

I'm so excited. League sign-ups for the local archery club are next week. Because of the old job, I worked on league nights, I couldn't sign up. But this year I can sign up!!!
My bow is strung, my fletchings are glued and my nocks are tight. I'm ready - and I hope the next time I post Robin Hood, it's means I've actually shot a robin hood* (like that will ever happen!).

*The term "Robin Hood" refers to splitting the shaft of an arrow already in the target with another arrow.

Shepard's Pie

2008-11-19T12:29:00.004-06:00

I made a Shepard's Pie last week. The recipe's from the Sunday's At Moosewood cookbook. Every vegetarian should have a copy. The book is divided into regional sections - vegetarian recipes from Africa, British Isles, Italy, China, Mexico, ect. ect.
I used a prepared tofu "sausage" instead of the frozen, shredded tofu called for in the recipe and pre-packaged mashed potatoes, because they were free with a purchase at the grocery store.

Tofu Layer -

Tofu "sausage" 16 oz pkg
1 large onion chopped
2 med carrots sliced
1/2 cup celery sliced (or any root veg. of your choice, parsnips,beets,ect.)
2 Tbs veg. oil
1/4 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp coriander/cumin seeds
pinch freshly ground black pepper
1 Tbs lemon juice
2 Tbs soy sauce

Saute the onions, sliced vegetables, and spices in the oil until the onions are translucent. Stir in the tofu, lemon juice, soy sauce, and black pepper. When heated through, remove from heat and set aside. Place this first layer in a well greased 9x9 inch baking dish.

Potato Layer

Use pre-packaged mash potatoes (like me) OR

4 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
3 Tbs butter
1/2 cup milk
salt to taste

Place cubed potatoes in saucepan and cover with lightly salted water. Bring to boil, simmer until potatoes are soft. Drain - saving hot potato water to use in gravy. Mash potatoes with butter and milk. Salt to taste. Set aside.

Mushroom Gravy

2 Tbs veg. oil
1/2 lb mushrooms, sliced
3 Tbs soy sauce
pinch black pepper
1 1/2 cups hot potato water
2 Tbs corn starch dissolved in 1/2 cup water

Heat oil in a skillet, stir in mushrooms, soy sauce and black pepper. Saute until mushrooms are tender. Add 1 1/2 cups hot potato water and bring to a boil. Slowly stir in cornstarch mixture and cook at a low boil, stirring continuously, until gravy in clear and thick.

Pour mushroom gravy over veg./onion layer in baking dish.

Cover with mashed potatoes, dot the top with butter and bake at 400 degrees for 15 to 20 mins - until top becomes golden.

If I made in again I wouldn't bother with the tofu "sausage". I used portabella mushrooms and they are 'meaty' enough.

Wii Mii

2008-11-19T12:02:00.003-06:00

I'm addicted to Wii. It's sad, but true. That's my mii hanging out with Mario and Princess Peach. I got a gold on every level in Mario Cart and they took a commemorative picture.

This is the first video game I have ever played and I can see why people become addicted.

"Just one more game. Ok. One more. Now just one more...."

Well, excuse me, now I have to get back to Rock Band.

The Wii is calling.

Down Fall

2008-11-11T13:28:00.005-06:00

This patient fell 15 feet from a roof and broke his radius and ulna. Another tech did the x-rays (and hung this first one upside down).

The bones are so crushed that this lateral looks almost like an AP.

Vet Visit

2008-11-11T13:05:00.002-06:00

So I took my cats to the Vet today.

Did you think this post was about Veteran's Day? :)

Catty, the 8 y/o, is doing fine, but Saveta, 15 y/o, has all the symptoms of hyperthyroidism. Ugh. They took blood and urine and now I'm waiting for the Vet to call with the results. He said he would probably prescribe pills for her and see how she reacts to them. She also has an icky tooth that needs to come out.

I hate the idea of giving her pills everyday. She is a cat. Just a pet...but still. She runs around and plays with her toys. She doesn't act sick.

I've had her since I was 10. I watched her birth and was the first person to touch her, so I guess it's hard to think about her dying, because she's a part of my childhood. And a part that hasn't really changed - cats don't get wrinkles!

Ouch Eww

2008-11-09T21:47:00.002-06:00

Nicely dislocated finger on a 50ish woman. "Caught finger in sweater and fell over onto hand." Ouch! It looked really messed up from the outside too. I felt like telling the woman to take a pic of it with her cell phone. She could show it to her friends. The 4th digit was almost perpendicular to her other fingers! So weird.

Dr. Horrible

2008-10-31T21:37:00.004-05:00

I Love Dr. Horrible!!

I just stumbled upon this funny, funny video on hulu.
Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

The singing is great and Neil Patrick Harris is such a cutie.

But I want more! Another episode - more, more, more!!

On Y'mark

2008-10-22T22:06:00.002-05:00

On your mark-get set-GO!
Tomorrow is a BIG fluoro day - 24 pts and counting!
Keep your fingers crossed for me that it's better than last week!

Goodbye Finger

2008-10-20T20:38:00.003-05:00

Hello Saw! Goodbye Finger!!
This guy partially amputated his finger on a circular saw. "I stopped paying attention for one second!" he said.

El Bow

2008-10-20T20:09:00.006-05:00

Saturday was a dislocated elbow night. Two in one night - how often does that happen?

This pt was very, very drunk. They gave her 8 of morphine and she was still writhing around on the cart. She also threatened to murder me if I touched her elbow and it hurt her. I couldn't really do a lateral (or an AP or anything that looked right), but I tried and she didn't kill me, so fairly successful.
This next pt dislocated and fractured his radius. He also wanted to kill me. The student I was working with said he looked like he was going to punch me when I was positioning his arm. Hey- if you come to the ER, you're in a lot of pain and you want x-rays done, it might hurt. Boo hoo. Would you rather not know what is wrong with you?
He wouldn't let me move his arm for the AP, so the x-ray below was done with tube/film angle magic. I was pretty close to AP all things considered.
Then I spent an hour in surgery workin' the C-arm.
And ta da- post op films. Looks a lot better, right? (ignore the yellow arrow-it's not pointing at anything)

Post Mortem

2008-10-20T19:59:00.005-05:00

AP skull: 39 y/o male suicide - shotgun

*This post will be updated periodically*

Tripped Up

2008-10-16T23:37:00.002-05:00

I had a really awful day today. It was a fluoro day, my first in over a month, and it really sucked. We didn't have a ton of patients, but I kept making mistakes, embarrassing myself and saying things I shouldn't say out loud.
I did one gigantically stupid thing (erase part of a pt's digitally archived exam) and tried to make up for it the whole day. Everyone was really nice to me and supportive, which makes me think that they are probably ripping me down behind my back (that is what they usually do).
And to finish off the day, on my way out, I tripped over a box in the hallway and looked like a retard.
Bad. Day.

An Update

2008-10-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

I updated Groin Shot with pics.

Diaper Up

2008-09-22T23:22:00.003-05:00

Last night at work I put a diaper on a little old lady with explosive diarrhea. Fun. Fun.

When she tried to stand up for the x-ray she grabbed her rear end, "Oh, oh it's coming out again!"
Me - "Ok. Well, I have this diaper-sort-of-thing(that is a diaper). Should we use that?"
Her-"Ok. I guess so."

After the x-ray she went to sit back down, "Oh NO! It's really coming out now! What should I do?!?"
A very pungent stink starts to fill the room.
Me-"Well....hmm....I don't really have anything to clean you up with here....hmm."
She rode back to the ER sitting in her stinky diaper.

I felt bad for her.

Summer's End

2008-09-18T21:04:00.011-05:00

I know this post is a little late - it's the middle of Sept., but I wanted to show off some of my garden........again.
Cheddar Cauliflower

Squash

Royal Golden Melon - It grew twice as big as this and turned bright orangy-gold. Mmmm and so sweet too!

Veronica Broccoli

Lincoln Peas with clotted cream

Purple Cauliflower

Kale, Cucumbers, ect.

Watermelon-growing

Watermelon- ripe

Doctor Notes

2008-09-18T21:04:00.005-05:00

I stole this from the furry monkey
It's so funny!

Real Doctors Notes

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
6. Healthy-appearing decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
11. She is numb from her toes down.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
14. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
15. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Tomorrow at work they are "going live" with a new computer system in the ER. They plan on "phasing out" the ward clerks/secretaries. Now with this new system the Dr. has to enter the info on all the pts and order all the tests - by himself - no I'm NOT kidding. Ridiculous. They don't spend enough time with the pts right now. Personally, if I were a pt I would rather have my Dr suturing my hand or something instead of entering orders!!!

Adventure Chick

2008-09-15T14:53:00.002-05:00

Warning:Chicken Heavy Picture Post!!!

Lavender isn't broody any more! And she's almost done with her molt. Lookin' good.
She likes to hop up on this chair and eat the green bean leaves that are growing through the fence. She's the only girl who is light enough to do it and brave enough.

Big Blob

2008-09-15T14:33:00.003-05:00

The big white blob, in these CT images, is not supposed to be there.

This 36y/o patient went to the ER twice, complaining of headaches and dizziness. The Dr. told him it was just a migraine, because he was under a lot of stress. He gave the pt. a prescription for some pain meds. Finally, the pt. made a third ER visit, because his wife woke up in the middle of the night and the pt. was screaming and convulsing on the bedroom floor. The ER Dr. (finally) ordered a CT.

An acute hemorrhage with coarse calcification, suggesting an underlying neoplasm. In other words, blood and cancer.
There is also an 11mm midline shift from left to right.
He was transferred out and had surgery to remove the blood and as much of the cancer as they could get to. He is now taking radiation and chemotherapy, but he has lost the use of his left arm and leg.

Full Moon

2008-09-15T14:20:00.003-05:00

Whoa!
This Saturday I broke the department record for most x-rays done by a single person in one shift.
The previous record was 17. I did 22!
My previous best was 15, but now I'm the new record holder!
And I didn't have to call in my back-up person.
Although, I did call her in on Sunday.
We had 2 traumas come in at once and I decided I couldn't do everything.

This week-end I did 52 patients total in 3 - 8 hour shifts. I think the total for all shifts was well over 100 patients. Plus I answered a million phone calls, refaxed ultrasound paperwork to the radiologist( the US tech couldn't get her paperwork to the right place, ever), entered all the orders for each exam (plus the CT and US exams) and made exam copies for patients.

What a week-end.

Drive Away

2008-09-11T14:24:00.002-05:00

This is a new one-

ER nurse- "Patient X in bed 3 won't be over for their x-ray. They have to drive their wife somewhere. We'll call you when they get back."

Hmmm, I guess the husband's night sweats and chronic cough weren't worrying the wife very much. She still wanted her ride 'somewhere'.

The patient showed up 45 min. later. I made my student do the x-ray.
Better they get TB than me.

Up-a Creek

2008-09-10T22:37:00.004-05:00

I went hiking in August with some friends. We also swam in the river.

This is a scary spider we found clinging next to a boulder where we crossed the river. It's about as big as my fist. Yuck.

Swimming in the river.
There's a waterfall that runs over the edge of a cliff into this natural swimming pool. The cliff is about 20 to 25 feet above the pool. There are pockets of deep water in the pool and sharp rocks everywhere else. While we were there some local kids dove off the cliff into the pool. Thankfully, the didn't hit any of the rocks. I was prepared to call 911 though.

I'm Off

2008-09-10T13:17:00.002-05:00

Well, in about 5 minutes I'm off to the big Department Meeting.
It's my day off, but there's no way I'm missing this!
I think the Boss and Others will tell us that they are cutting out mammography services from the dept. So.....my hours will be cut too. Sucks to be me, right?
Why did they hire me?
I left a perfectly good job (where I made more, but I had to drive farther) to take this job only THREE months ago.
Did they know they were going to cut mammos then?
I really don't want to lose my Mamms accreditation, but what can I do?

We will also discuss an inspirational book that the Boss gave everyone to read. I was not inspired. It was a hard cover book - $20 a piece + 75 employees = a ton of money they could spend somewhere else.

Poker Foot

2008-08-30T17:34:00.003-05:00

This woman waited a week to come into the ER.
She stepped on a needle. Part of the needle was sticking out of her foot, so she tried to pull it out. It broke off at skin level, but she thought she'd pulled 'most' of it out and the rest would work its way out.
It didn't.
Her foot started throbbing and she couldn't sleep at night, so she finally decided to come into the ER.

Gimme Gimme

2008-08-30T15:18:00.003-05:00

This little 3 year old child had a tantrum and pulled a candy machine over. It fell on their leg and broke the femur in two.

Ouch!

Head Lines

2008-08-26T15:21:00.001-05:00

Headline from a newspaper: "Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped".

Made me laugh.

Anonymous Mouse

2008-08-10T17:20:00.002-05:00

So.....I have a lot of interesting cases to share with you, but I recently had a tiny anonymity scare and I'm not sure if I want to keep writing this blog.
This blog is anonymous, for obvious reasons. I never use patient names or identifying info and I sometimes change stories, so they can't be identified.
But, I still don't want anyone (HIPPA,JCHAO, my boss, ect.) to know where I work or who I am ......So if you know me from the "real world", please keep it a secret.

Chickens Dickens

2008-08-05T15:36:00.005-05:00

Warning! This post is about chickens! No x-ray stuff AT ALL!! Just Chickens!!!

It rained today and I got some cute pics of the ladies playing outside in the rain/mud. They are officially HENS now. Their hatchday was Aug. 1st 2007. They're not my little pullets anymore (tear), but old lady hens. Imagine being considered old, over the hill, cull-able after only one year of life.

Zela busy hunting worms.

Scratch,scratch, scratch. Peck, peck.

Butter got a little wild in the mud. Your mascara's running sweetie!

"Hmmm, are these good to eat?"

"Yes, mumph, gulp, mmm, tasty!"

Pippa poses for a picture.

"Ahhhh, paparazzi!! Run!"

"No more photos!"

Mister Twister

2008-07-28T22:42:00.002-05:00

Older man water skiing. Hmmm, ouch?
I know! I know! My lateral sucks! But he wouldn't even let me touch his leg, so I worked with what I had. Next time...more tube angle. And if you don't know what I'm talking about....these pics are perfectly AWESOME!!

Cracked Up

2008-07-28T22:24:00.004-05:00

Man vs. Truck.

Truck wins.

I'm pretty proud of my nice cross-table laterals. This was ordered as an ankle, but I decided to do more of a Tib/Fib after I saw how much damage there was on his ankle. In the last pic you can see that there are some spiral fractures. I've seen fractures like that spiral from ankle to knee.

For a 20-something he has horrible bone density. Too much soda? More calcium!

I also did an AP Tib/Fib, but I'm too lazy to copy it.

Back Again

2008-07-16T22:20:00.003-05:00

I was at Old Job today. They needed help, because someone was on vacation. It was great to see everyone again. I'd forgotten how friendly everyone is at Old Hosp. Not like at New Hosp. were they are rude. They = EVERYONE!
I did mamms and it felt like I wasn't even working, that's how easy it is to use their machine. Instead of struggling to get passable images, I could walk into the room and walk out 15 mins later, with perfect images. I didn't even break a sweat.
Sigh.
But there are things I like about New Job too
I just can't think of any right now.
Ironically, one of my students, that just graduated, was hired as my replacement at Old Job. Interesting.
There really is a definite attitude difference between the 2 hospitals.
Perhaps, it's a difference of big vs. small.
Mean vs. nice.

This is a pic of the ancient beast that (wants to) whip my butt once a week. As you can see Wilma Flintstone had her first mammo done on this very machine.

This is sort of what the Old Job's mammo machine looks like. I couldn't find a very good pic. Surprisingly, usually GE has their advertising stuff all over. Any way it is a very gorgeous GE Diamond.

Light Bulb

2008-07-15T22:36:00.003-05:00

If you have a fake hip and you stand on the edge of your bathtub to change a light bulb ---- you WILL slip and fall. The final result will be painful:

Strawberry Jam

2008-07-15T22:08:00.004-05:00

I made strawberry jam last week. The strawberries were from my own garden! This was a great year for strawberries. There were tons! Too bad the season is already over. Now the black raspberries have started!

Fresh strawberries.
Crushed strawberries.
Adding the pectin, butter, and sugar.

Jars sealing.
All done! Every jar sealed!

Ring Ring

2008-07-11T00:44:00.005-05:00

Yes. This is my butt.

This is also the phone that I carry around while I'm working. People call me on it and tell me to do stuff. Sometimes I listen to them.

A favorite, never gets old tech joke:

Hey! Your butt's ringing!

First Tomater

2008-07-11T00:38:00.004-05:00

I GOT MY FIRST TOMATO!!

(of the summer,

I've had tomatoes before, I'm

not a total cretin)

Yay!

And I ate it.

With salt.

It was good.

Tomatoey.

And it was a small tomato, like I said before,

I don't have giant hands! Really! I swear!

Getting Old

2008-07-11T00:26:00.004-05:00

This is such a neat x-ray in real life, but unfortunately it doesn't copy very well.
The pt was an 86 y/o cancer pt. She had absolutely no control over her arm. When I lifted her arm to position it, it flopped around like a wet noodle.
I also did an external rotation, but that did NOT copy at ALL. And it was so gross looking too.

Ding Dong

2008-07-11T00:12:00.005-05:00

Look at how small this newborn is! That's my HAND it's sitting on.

(and NO I don't have giant hands!) It was so tiny!

However, look closely at its chest: Bell shaped. That's a sign of Down Syndrome. Sad.
Upright Abd of a newborn.

Tree Jumper

2008-07-11T00:05:00.005-05:00

This is what happens when you're 9 and you jump out of a tree.
And you land on your shoulder and break your clavicle.
The 1st one is the angled shot.

Tu Mama

2008-07-10T23:56:00.003-05:00

Bathroom fun:
I guess someone forgot to flush!

Woo Hoo

2008-06-29T18:49:00.003-05:00

I went to Valleyfair last Sat.

So much fun! I love the Scrambler and Monster.
I'm such a chicken with the big rides.
I've tried them all and decided I never want to try them again! For good reason - Wild Thing crash.

Also, ran in a 4 mile race recently. My time was 44:12. Not very fast, but at least I finished. I ran the last 500 feet really, really fast. My mom (who ran it with a back injury) did it in 32:07. She got 4th place in her age group.

For a while, during the race, I was running near a boy and his dad. The dad was trying to encourage his son: "Pace yourself!" "Pick up your feet!" "You wanted to do this, stop whining." "Straight back!" "Keep your head up!" "Stop flopping you feet around, step lightly, easy on your knees."

Ahh, it brought back fond memories of my childhood. I wanted to tell the kid, "It eventually gets better and they leave you alone."

In Control

2008-06-16T16:01:00.004-05:00

I think it's strange that 3 months ago I sat sweating, praying, on the edge of my seat, waiting for my interview in a new department AND NOW I'm in control of that department.
I worked my first 4 day week-end by myself. Thurs. to Sun.
I'm not following anyone around anymore.
It was interesting.
Very, very busy.
Exciting.
Boring.
Gross.
My very first patient on Thurs. painted the walls, floor and x-ray table with vomit.
It smelled like hamburger.

I had this funny little conversation with a nurse on Sat. night. The ER was packed and I was working on one patient and a nurse brought over another patient. The computer was slower than a 92 year old on ice. I'm trying to work fast and get done with the first patient, so the nurse can go back to the ER with him, but the computer is Too Slow!!
She's breathing down my neck.

Then she starts walking around looking for something and she finally comes back to me and says: Are you here all by yourself?
Me: Yeah.
Nurse: Well, that's strange.
Me: Uh, on a Sat? Evening? I think there's usually just one person.
Nurse: Yeah, but don't you need a license or something to run the machines?
Me: Uhhhh.......I've been a tech. for 5 years.
Nurse:...............oh, never mind.

Should I be insulted?

Garden Again

2008-06-12T11:54:00.004-05:00

More Pictures of my garden on Thursday 6-12-08

Wet Feathers

2008-06-06T00:16:00.003-05:00

I gave my pet chicken Butter a bath!
She loved it!

She took a nap after her bath, wrapped up in her towel, for almost 20 mins.

Wiped Out

2008-06-05T23:59:00.003-05:00

Thursday (today) we did 18 fluoro/interventional pts. I was doing or assisting in almost every case. PLUS I did 3 In pts, 2 girls from a MVA and 4 other ER pts. All 7 of the ER pts were on backboards, so everything was cross table. Knees, c-spine, l-spine, ect. Ugg.
And 2 of the in pts were kids. So sad....little cancer kids with bald heads.

I'm having a hard time letting the students do stuff. It's really tough. Either I end up jumping in and doing everything or I let the student do it, but I forget that I'm supposed to stand there and watch them. I end up walking away to do some paperwork or answer the phone. Then I run back when I remember that they're "just" students. Aaaaaaaaa!

Some of the techs are really rude to the students. Even though they're students they're still HUMANS! Do unto others as you would like done to you.
Please.
It's embarrassing to watch them belittle the students. It just makes them look incompetent.

Well, I've collected a couple really juicy, grusome stories during this last week........... but I'm waiting for people/media to forget about them. No HIPPA lawsuit for me thanks very much!

Hello Feet

2008-06-01T00:24:00.004-05:00

If you are so fat that the hospital staff need to use a steel dolly to move you into and around the hospital.......you need professional help.
You are too fat.
You are killing yourself.
And you're only 31.

Allium Blooms

2008-05-29T21:42:00.006-05:00

Taking over from the tulips, the allium in my front yard are starting to bloom.
Some of the plants are 3 feet tall!

Some begonias.

I used coco hull mulch on this area. It smells so good! Like hot chocolate.

My little water garden. I planted 2 water plants on Sat.
They are already sending up little shoots.

Dust Bath

2008-05-29T20:48:00.007-05:00

It was wet and rainy today, so the girls decided to have a nice, long, relaxing dust bath.

Lavender started to lay again! She layed her first egg, in months, on Memorial Day. Her eggs are the little green ones. It's so nice to have green eggs again!

Potato Experiment

2008-05-29T20:30:00.004-05:00

The great potato experiment had a little setback. The garbage can container fell over during a storm, so I moved the potatoes and dirt to a different container. Nothing's sprouted from that box though.....

This last box needs to have more dirt piled up on the shoots ASAP! Adding that to my to do list. Don't they look nice, though?

Raspberries - looking good!

Gooseberry bush and onions.

Garden Update

2008-05-29T19:56:00.006-05:00

My square foot garden is growing!

Sad little tomato plants :(
Melons
Squash

More melons
More melons

More melons :)

Scrub Strut

2008-05-28T23:28:00.003-05:00

I love
Strutting in scrubs
Ceil blue
Head bouffant
Mask round my neck
Models kill the cat walk
I rock the OR.

Rockin' Boobies

2008-05-28T23:19:00.003-05:00

I totally rocked the Mamms on Monday.
Perfect pictures, even with difficult patients. (oooo, I can't lift my arm, ow ow ow)
The processor ate two of my MLO's, but other than that everything was great!

I've realized that I just have to suck it up and use more compression than I was previously comfortable with. Every job has it's little tricks. Every machine is different. Every patient is different.
But I think I've finally beaten the sucky machine!

Too Slow

2008-05-28T23:12:00.004-05:00

I ran a 5k on Saturday.
I thought I was going to die.
My mom came in at 28:14min.
I did 34:07min.
My mom is 58 years old.
She got 2nd place in her age group.
I'm 25.
I didn't win anything.

But I finished!

Ass Wipe

2008-05-22T20:46:00.002-05:00

Mentally handicapped patient to Diabetty:

MH: Are you gonna do a ass wipe of my 'ed?

Diabetty: No, we're going to do an x-ray of your chest.

Watching You

2008-05-19T11:28:00.003-05:00

The Manager wants everyone to take a 20 min. walk outside.
So we go outside.
After skipping around the cement urban sprawl on Friday, I had a lovely pink sunburn.

Drunk guy with his head swaddled in gauze, like a mummy, talking to Diabetty tech.

DG: You better do a good job.
Diabetty: Oh, we always take good x-rays!
DG: Well, I know where you work, so you better do a good job.
Diabetty: You know where we work? Yeah, I guess you do.
DG: Yeah, I know where you work, because I live a block away. Sometimes I watch you guys.
Diabetty: ................um......?

I will NOT be taking a stroll outside/around the hospital anymore!
He might be watching.

First PM

2008-05-17T00:03:00.004-05:00

It's Midnight.
I just got back from working my first PM.

Except for the 600 lb. man, all the pts were walkie/talkies.

Very easy.

The hardest part was making small talk for 8 hours with the tech I'm shadowing.

The night:
One 600lb. vomiting man 2v. abd.
One girl banged her finger hand.
One low back pain man Lumbar spine.
One post seizure 2v. chest woman.
One explosive diarrhea 89 y/o woman 2v. abd.

Tu Lippy

2008-05-15T18:58:00.003-05:00

Tulip varieties from my garden.

Boxed Up

2008-05-15T18:39:00.005-05:00

Pictures of my
Square Foot Garden!

Peas-Golden Sweet, Tall Telephone, Sugar Snap, Lincoln
Radishes: Zlata,Helios, Easter Egg II, Red Meat
Carrots: White Satin, Nantaise
Beets:Touchstone Gold, Chioggia
Cabbage, Broccoli, Kale, Swiss Chard, Cauliflower, Onions, Basil, Sage

Blueberry and Lingon Berry bed.

Bossy Man

2008-05-13T22:24:00.003-05:00

A surgeon yelled at me in front of two students.
Thanks man.
Of course, he was yelling at everyone.....so I didn't feel too bad.

Funny how he can tell me how to do my job, but I can't tell him how to do his.

Monday Joke

2008-05-12T20:47:00.004-05:00

Too tired today.
I was in Mamms again.
I think I have the meanie machine beaten. Finally. The lead tech. checked my work and said I did an "excellent job". Good....but I still feel bad using so much compression. :( Oh, well, it's kind of funny, not a single woman complained about the compression.
At my old job everyone complained about compression - before we compressed them. Then they would say "oh, that wasn't so bad".
Strange.

OK I have to get up super early tomorrow so here is a funny joke:

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

No, Really?

Yeah. It runs in your genes!

X-ray Vision

2008-05-08T20:25:00.005-05:00

.
This is very strange.

"All Things Considered, May 3, 2008 · This past week, the Transportation Security Administration introduced new security measures at Baltimore-Washington International Airport, including a controversial "whole-body scanner." The scanner provides guards with an image that strips away a traveler's clothing, revealing everything that person is carrying — and their naked bodies. TSA spokesperson Christopher White shows Andrea Seabrook how it works."

"Wired-Nice Bombs Ya Got There
A scanner the government is testing for airport screening reveals much more than meets the eye to be comfortable for most passengers.

Susan Hallowell, director of the Transportation Security Administration's security laboratory, sacrificed a large measure of her own modesty Wednesday to demonstrate the problem.........read the rest here"

More examples from the walk through x-ray airport scanners.

The machine:

I already get enough radiation at work, I don't need more when I go on vacation!

As for the "back scatter radiation" that they use- what do people think radiation is? Calling it backscatter radiation makes it safer? I should try that with pts : "Today we're using sweet rainbow foofy x-rays!" All radiation produces scatter and I don't really want my thyroid caught in a small box with a handful of "back scatter radiation".

Ok, ok I'm sure it's harmless. But I have questions....What about pregnant women? Will TSA preform preg. tests on travelers who don't know their LMP?

Which preg. woman will sign up first, to sue TSA for malpractice, because of birth defects in her baby, that she attributes to a walk through x-ray screening she had on her way to Hawaii when she didn't know she was pregnant?

Run Run

2008-05-08T19:05:00.005-05:00

Today I ran and ran and ran. The End.

Juuuuuust kidding!

I was in fluoroscopsy/interventional today. Following around 3 different techs. Work started at 7:30am with 12 patients. Apparently this is a slow day. At the old job we did at the most 1 (yes, ONE)fluoro case a WEEK. And, as I usually worked evening shifts on the fluoro days, I haven't done a BE, UGI, VCUG, ect. for a loooong time.

Not that I missed it much.
People can keep their anuses and various bits to themselves, thanks much.
But it's part of the job.
And I wanted this job, at this big fancy hospital, so much.
The Rad was so nice. He talked to the patients! He explained the procedures! He was a normal person!
Amazing.
By 8:30am, when the pts start to arrive, there are 3 more add ons. By the end of the day there will be 2 more. Total pt exams =17
I assisted with 1 thoracentesis, 1 paracentesis, 1 abd mass biopsy, 3 UGIs (one on an 8y/o), 1 VCUG(where I was peed on) and 2 ERCPs.

I also watched a student x-ray a partial amputated thumb. She was hoping to test out on it, but couldn't remember how to do the oblique so I couldn't sign off on it for her.
I also did a lot of other minor things-like running around and getting things, finding people, transporting equipment, and running and running.
We didn't stop for lunch until 10 min. to 1pm.
Our next pt was at 1pm, so we had 10 min. to eat.

While we gobbled food, The Manager came up and asked in a passive/agressive manner if JCAHO allows us to eat in our dept. I'm guessing.....NO. Whatever, I'm the new employee, just following the others lead!

I have tomorrow off!!

Potato Garden

2008-05-08T17:12:00.004-05:00

My cats love to eat and roll on this pretty flower's leaves.

Black raspberry bushes- I finally finished pruning them!

The Great Potato Bin Experiment: Different types of potatoes- early, mid and late season. Three different ways of growing them-build as they grow wooden box, plastic garbage can (left over from another experiment), and a plastic tote bin.

May the best potato win.

I'll update these pics when (and if) anything sprouts.

Happy Anniversary

2008-05-07T22:56:00.001-05:00

Happy 36th Anniversary to my mom and dad!

I Suck

2008-05-07T22:27:00.002-05:00

I hate, hate, hate my new job!

After yesterday, where I did a post-op knee in recovery ALONE (even though I didn't know where the recovery room was or what their protocol was!! I like to jump in and try not to drown) and a port-a-cath placement in surgery ALONE(with 2 students, but that totally counts as alone). -longest sentence ever!

Anyway after yesterday, I thought I was pretty hot stuff! Rockin' the new job no sweat.
I hit a wall today. Crawling over this wall, called Mammograms, took all day!

I used to be really, really good at Mammos. No pain, pts would thank me and request me to do their Mamm the next year. All that is over....

The machine at the new job is really, really old. More than 13 years. I'm used to a new machine that does everything for you except comfort the pt. This ugly, stupid piece of junk that I will have to use every single week, is a real wham, bam, thank you ma'am piece of crap. I like to do the compression slowly - it's not so painful that way.
Sucky machine has 2 speeds - off and super fast.

I was apologizing to pts all day long!
A mammo is NOT suppose to be painful.
At times I almost wanted to give them the number of my old job, just because they have a better machine and I felt so bad for the pts getting squished.

This is how my day went: I love this job....oh, mammos no problem....holy crap what is this thing!?! that's your mammo machine?!?! No Way! No way!..... Ok well, that didn't look too bad let me try one....ok I suck....no I really suck....I hate this job.....I really hate this job....now I want to kill myself....will this day never end?....oh, that wasn't too bad....wow! maybe I've beaten this!....No, I suck....stupid machine...Wow! good mammos! finally!....Sorry lady, I'll wrap your breasts up and you can tuck them under your arm.....She needs new boobs, but I got good mammos....Ha, Ha!....I'm outta here!

First Day

2008-05-05T17:06:00.002-05:00

Today was my first day at my new job.
Here are somethings that I learned-

I can x-ray circles around most techs.
But....I get lost trying to find pts rooms.
And I can't open a door. Any door. Without the right code.

It was an interesting day. There sure are a lot of young (good-looking) guys in the dept. I didn't think there were that many guy x-ray techs in the whole state!

Hmmmmm...... the next few months could be interesting.

X-ray Cartoon

2008-05-04T13:02:00.002-05:00

Here's a cute cartoon about x-rays!

Last Day

2008-05-01T21:03:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is my last day of work.

I start at my new job on Monday.

My co-workers are having a going away party for me tomorrow.

Veggie pizza, brownies and Pepsi.

My favorite things.

Dr. Happy

2008-04-30T23:15:00.008-05:00

As I exit the elevator, the stench of fresh diarrhea and diesel fumes hits me like a wall. There is an ambulance, pumping out thick, oily fumes, idling in the ER garage.

I park my portable machine in a corner and watch the paramedics unload a stretcher, from the back of the yellow striped ambulance. There is a paramedic, on each end of the stretcher, and an EMT, seven months pregnant, perched on a little rail above the wheels.

The EMT continues chest compressions on the half naked man strapped to the stretcher. The two paramedics, in navy blue jumpsuits, wheel them, as a unit, into the emergency room. Four or five nurses flock around the stretcher and start calling out orders to each other.
A nurse yells at the patient, “Frank? Frank you’re in the emergency room. Frank? Can you open your eyes for me?”
I catch a glimpse of the patient over her pink scrub covered shoulders.

The patient is a middle aged man with thin balding hair, his bare chest covered with monitoring leads. He has a jiggling belly that wriggles, like a laughing baby, with each chest compression that the, now sweating, EMT presses into his chest.
Sweat runs down the EMT’s face and her ponytail starts to fall apart. Faded dirty blue jeans cover the patient's lower half and a worn brown leather billfold peeks out from behind his hip. One dirt clogged boot is abandoned in the middle of the floor. The other boot leaks black soil onto a bedside table's sterile silver surface.
I pick the boot up from the floor and put it next to its mate.

A compassionate nurse takes over chest compressions from the EMT.
They have an AMBU in place and another nurse takes charge of the man’s breathing.

Dr. Happy, the on-call doctor, arrives in the ER.
Dr. Happy isn't his real name.
It's an alias for a real doctor's nickname.
Patients find Dr. Happy's given last name unpronounceable.
He is from Africa by way of Russia.
When he speaks, patients look confused and then turn to the nurse, who translates Dr. Happy babble into Mid-western English.

Dr. Happy rushes into the trauma room and starts gesturing wildly and yelling out undecipherable orders and questions.
He is never calm during an emergency. He is never calm, period.
One nurse, Martha, who can usually understand his accent, starts translating the orders and answering his questions.
The patient had IV’s in both arms and Dr. Happy ordered the nurses to administer some drugs.
While they were busy with that he gestured at my corner of the trauma room and yelling, “S-ay! S-ay!”
I took that to mean x-ray and punched my machine into the fray.
The enormous elephant body of the portable x-ray machine made the over crowded room claustrophobic.
Gently edging toward the patient, to avoid any spare feet in my path, I lined up my positioning for the x-ray.
Before I can shoot it, Dr. Happy changes his mind.
“No! No! Ab irst! Ab irst!” he shouts.

The lab tech, Steve, moves forward and steps in front of me.
Dr. Happy starts running around the body grabbing the man’s arms and pinching them.
He shouts something and then runs down to the man’s legs and starts pulling on the patient’s jeans.
Steve and I looked at each other and shrug. Now what?
The nurses ignore Dr. Happy’s antics and continued compressing the patient’s chest and squeezing air into the patient’s lungs.

Martha translates.
She turns to Steve and motions toward the supine man, “He doesn’t have a pulse, so I don’t think you can use the arms. Your welcome to try, but Dr. Happy’s going to look for a femoral vein for you.”
Dr. Happy shouts a question and Martha asks, “Do you have a really big syringe?”
Steve digs around in the basket of needles and tubes he carrys, pulling the biggest one out and handing it to Martha.

Dr. Happy has, by this time, given up trying to pull the blue jeans off the patients flaccid limbs.
He jabs frantically at the fabric with a pair of blunt nosed scissors.
Finally, tearing the fabric away and sniping off the man’s white underwear.
Except for his socks, the patient was now entirely naked.
“Col ip! Col ip!” Dr. Happy shouts at Martha.

She dashes to a cupboard and returns with a small one inch by one inch alcohol wipe.
Dr. Happy swabs at the man’s groin and then shouts again, “Un or!”.
Martha hands him another wipe, followed by an extremely long thin needle.
Dr. Happy feels around in the man’s crotch and starts mumbling.
Martha translates, “He can’t find the femoral vein either. Oh, now he thinks he found it, but it might be the femoral artery. He’s not sure. No, that’s definitely the artery. No, it’s the vein. He’s sure it’s the vein. OK get ready, he’s going to try it.”

Steve steps forward, with his vials ready to collect blood.
Dr. Happy stops for a moment, poised above the patient’s crotch, and then he jabs the needle into the skin.
A long thin fountain of blood arcs from the white tube attached to the needle.
The blood arcs through the air, hits Steve’s chest and paints a thin red strip down to his knees.
Martha said, “That was the artery.”
Everyone, except Steve, who needs new scrubs, laughs.
Dr. Happy shrugs and smiles, “Oh, el. Is til bud.”
He gives Steve a large sample of blood and then removes the needle.
Every time the nurse compresses the patient’s chest a thin squirt of blood shoots out.
Dr. Happy motions to a nurse standing near the patient’s feet.
She compresses, with a white square of cotton, the offending artery.

Now it's my turn.
I push the portable machine closer to the body and unfold its giraffe neck. I point the small box, its head, at the patient and move up to the patient’s chest.
He is still on a yellow plastic backboard.
The nurses lift the backboard up. I estimate the location of the man’s lungs and shove my white plastic portable grid and cassette underneath the backboard.
The man’s cold, clammy, sweat covered arm brushes against my arm.
Disgusting.

The extra nurses and Dr. Happy leave the room.
The nurse performing compressions pauses and the nurse with the AMBU fills the patient’s lungs.
I spread out my lead apron to cover us both, take my x-ray and pull the grid from beneath the man’s body.
I push my machine rapidly out of the room and back to my department where I develop the film.
Everything is digital.
Shove the cassette into its dock in the processor.

I return to the ER to show Dr. Happy the x-ray image.
He is running around trying to find the man's name.
A policeman stands, in the middle of the ER, dumbfounded at Dr. Happy’s antics.
The lieutenant watches Dr. Happy with his eyes, while quietly explaining to Martha that the man’s family knew he was in the Emergency Room.

The police notified the family twenty minutes ago, when the man hit the ER door.
The lieutenant called them again, five minutes ago, they told him they would come to the hospital when they were good and ready.
And his name isn’t Frank it’s William.
I step into the trauma room.

Dr. Happy bounces into the room.
Anyone object to him ‘calling it’?
They could understand this, with or without Martha.
Everyone shakes their sweaty heads.
Nobody objections.

“OK” he announces. “Time o det sex fiftin.”
Time of death six fifteen.
The nurses sigh with relief and step away from the body, rolling the stress out of their tired shoulders.
On her way out of the room, one of the nurses pats the body on the shoulder, “Sorry, Frank”, she says “We tried.”

Ha! Gotcha!

2008-04-30T13:06:00.002-05:00

Look who I caught in the act! Bad Catty!

The seat will be left down from now on. Ick.

I can't be mad at such a cute face!

Knock Knock

2008-04-30T11:16:00.009-05:00

I had some visitors to my backdoor today, looking for raisin donations.
Aren't they cute?

This is the flock of five minus Lavender.

She's STILL broody!

Gardening Square

2008-04-29T19:22:00.007-05:00

I love, love, love square foot gardening! It's so simple and it makes perfect sense. I'm turning my entire backyard into a square foot garden. So far I have 6 beds with 5 more in progress (I'm not that great at carpentry).

I have 4 3x3 beds, 2 3x2 potato bed/bins and 1 8x2 trellis bed.

The trellis bed is for tomatos. I have indeterminate varieties. They like to grow crazy all over the place, but with the trellis I (hopefully) can keep them under control.

I bought my tomato plants from Territorial Seeds. They let you buy single plants at a time (as opposed to other catalogs that make you buy at least three), so you can try a bunch of different varieties without an out of control garden.

Next year I'll ask to have my plants delivered in early May, instead of late April, because one of the plants arrived frosted and wilted.

As you can see in the picture to the right. The tomato on the far left looks a little dead.

They also had aphids!!! I'm NOT happy about that, because they spread to all my other seedlings. But a quick spray of neem and they're dead green pin heads.

The picture to the right is a pepper plant post neem spray. The little white dots are the dead aphids. Take that plant suckers!

I hope to build another 2 trellis boxes for my melons. I'm trying a bunch of crazy Asian melons and one from Iraq. I bought the seeds from Bakers Creek Heirloom Seeds.
.
The lettuce, broccoli, cabbage, kale and cauliflower seedlings that I planted out last week did not appreciate the 5 inches of snow that fell on Saturday. They are dead. Dead. Dead. It's OK, I have about a hundred more. I'm growing the broccoli, lettuce, ect. for my pet chickens. Broccoli is $2.00 a bunch at the grocery store and they can eat a bunch in about....um....60 seconds.
.
The chickies are loving the grass and weeds, that I'm pulling up from my garden. I weed for a few minutes every day and feed them the weeds. Then they lay me some delicious, nutritious eggs!
I'm starting to love weeding.
.
I'll try to take some pics of my garden soon.

New Boy

2008-04-28T20:30:00.002-05:00

I hope my first day at work isn't like this.

Still it's really funny!

Leo Letter

2008-04-23T22:46:00.004-05:00

Leonardo DiCaprio sent me a letter!

Like many girls, who were 13 when Titanic came out, I had a crush on Leo. Sigh. I think my friends and I saw the movie, like, totally 20 times.
I know- not a record.
Wasn't there some girl who saw it 75 times?

Anyway, back to my letter from Leo.
Just like me, Leo includes a photo of himself in his personal correspondence. He also, just like me, asks for money to save the polar bears.
I like to end my letters like this (maybe Leo should take notes), "Thanks again for the cookies, Grandma, they are so tasty. Please remember to send some money to the polar bears and remember them in your prayers. They recently lost their home to global warming. Much love!"

Wal Marty

2008-04-21T18:56:00.005-05:00

This is about one of my mother's handicapped clients.
She would die of mortification if she knew I was writing this.

My mother(Katsmom) took 2 of her handicapped clients to Wal-mart. It was their reward for behaving (not swearing, taking their meds, and not punching anyone). J. is mostly nonverbal (except for swear words) and very violent. Sam is quiet and pretty nice most of the time. Sam and J pick out cough drops and white socks for their reward. They get up to the check out. Like most Wal-marts, there are 2 check outs open and 50 people waiting in line.
After 10 min. they are 1 person away from checking out. Sam puts his cough drops on the belt and then turns to my mother(who is trying to apologize to the nice check out lady--when J. called you a f-ing titty-ho--he meant to say 'Hello, how are you today?')

Sam: Katsmom?
Katsmom: Yes, Sam. What is it? No J. do not punch that little boy!
Sam: If I tell you something will you get mad?
Katsmom: What Sam? I won't get mad.
Sam: I'm afraid you'll get mad.
Katsmom: No, I won't get mad.
Sam: Are you sure?
Katsmom: Yes! What is it!
Sam: I had to go to the bathroom.
Katsmom: Well, can you wait a second? We're almost checked out. No! J. come back here!
Sam: No, Katsmom, I had to go. I had to. You're not mad are you?
Katsmom: What? What do you mean?
She looks down, checks his crotch for a wet stain. Her eyes travel down to the floor, to a small pile of poop that is spilling out of Sam's pant leg. Sam moves his leg and the pile of poop grows, spills over his shoe and then continues piling out of his pant leg. There is now a softball sized pile of poop on the floor and 20 people watching from the line behind my mother. The clerk gives her a handful of paper towels and my mother picks up the poop and deposits it in a handy wastepaper basket.
Then she takes her clients and runs out of the store.
She refuses to shop there ever again.

My question after this story was, "How could he do that? Wouldn't the poop get stuck in his underwear?"
I guess he wears loose boxers.

Oriann Tation

2008-04-21T18:37:00.003-05:00

I had orientation today for my new job. From 8am to 4pm. Now I'm at work(old job) until 11pm.
Man, I'd forgotten about how boring and repetitive all that orientation junk is!
The exciting highlights of the day:

To find the elevators look for a picture of red poppies.
If you don't find said poppy picture you will be lost forever!
If you want police and security to come running dial 666 for assistance.
Sugarcane skewered shrimp with couscous for lunch (fancy pantsy!)
Prescription vending machine by the ER .

I know I will get lost all the time for the first 6 months. New job(NJ) hospital is soooo big. Everything is brand new and every hallway looks exactly the same. It's scary and super shiny at the same time. At old job(OJ) I know everyone by their first name. There are over 1,000 employees at NJ! Yikes!

I'm scared, but........I can't wait to start!

Dear Patient

2008-04-19T11:45:00.006-05:00

Dear Patient,

I know we don't all have the same personal space requirements.
If, however, I can tell that you started out your day with a pot of coffee and half a pack of Marlboros YOU ARE STANDING TOO CLOSE TO ME!!
Please get out of my face.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Me

P.S. Your chin pores need cleaning out.

I'm Bad

2008-04-17T20:42:00.004-05:00

Kilt shortage in the Scottish Regiment!

"the regiment's five thousand soldiers have only three hundred and twenty kilts between them ( if this is indeed true every fifteen soldiers are sharing one kilt)."

This woman is to blame.
For shame! Making soldiers run around naked.
Hmmm.....
Where is that sign up sheet for the trip to Scotland?

No Gloria!

2008-04-17T18:28:00.003-05:00

My mom manages a group home for adult mentally handicapped men.
She has one client that she takes to work 3 times a week.
My mom stays with him during the day while he works, because 1. he is very violent and 2. he has diabetes and epilepsy.

This client, J., "works" in a factory-like building. The work is provided by a government program. J's job is to push pieces of paper into a shredder. He does about 200 to 300 lbs. of paper a day. My mother sits beside him and hands him the paper.

Some of the other clients sort boxes of nuts and bolts.
Most of the clients fall asleep, wake up to eat lunch, and then fall asleep again.
Sometimes they are violent or disruptive. Then the staff brings out a mat and physically holds the violent client down on a mat. They use special holds to incapacitate the client.

One handicapped woman, "S.", talks to her hand all day long.
Her hand is named Gloria.
And Gloria is very bad.
Very, very bad.
Some of the things Gloria the hand says are x-rated, but this is a cleaned up version of S. and Gloria her hand's conversation.

S. talks in a normal voice and when she does her hand's voice it is very high and squeaky.

S: "Gloria, you are being very bad. We need to get to work."
G: "No! No! I won't work you can't make me!"
S. "Yes, Gloria, you need to work. You are very bad."
G: "Ha, ha, ha!" (Gloria knocks a box of bolts on the floor.)"
S. "Oh, no Gloria! You are so bad! I need to smack you! Do you want me to smack you?"
G. "I don't care you @#*&^! You go to ^%$#!"
S. "Gloria! No! Bad girl.
S. hits Gloria (her right hand) with her left hand.
Then Gloria (her right hand) hits S. across the face.

S. hits herself so hard that her eyes start to water and she leaves a huge red mark across her face.

My mom says she's glad she doesn't have to work with the really crazy ones like S. and her hand Gloria.

Cough Cough

2008-04-17T17:48:00.002-05:00

This is what happens when you say, "Sick? I never get sick."
Ha. Ha.
I am sick. I have a fever and a cough. When I swallow, my spit bumps down a rough, fiery throat. It hurts. This is the worst sore throat I have ever had. And I think I just lacerated my liver coughing. Maybe I have strep.
I feel terrible.

But I'm at work!

Everyone is mad at me, because I'm quiting and in 2 weeks they'll have to work my shifts.
I've never called in sick.
Who would work for me?

April 15th

2008-04-14T20:22:00.003-05:00

I finally did my taxes last night.

Procrastination is my best friend!

It's so depressing.

I've managed to give all my money away to the government again.

They take 1/3 of my wages and this year I get $87.00 back from the state.

My mother says I should have a baby.

Single mothers/heads of houshold get loads of money back.

Hmmmm.....I think she was kidding. ???

The good thing is that my money's building roads and stuff.

Right?

OK- Highway 12 is now mine.

I bought it.

If you want to drive on it you have to pay me.

Buahahahha! (evil laughter)

No Way!

2008-04-14T15:01:00.001-05:00

I got the job!

They called me on Sat. to offer me the position!

And they want me to start in 2 weeks!

Wow!

The Gathering

2008-04-10T17:05:00.005-05:00

The Scottish Heritage community is going crazy over The Gathering. As in THE GATHERING. It's like The Rapture, but more work.

I guess, from the 40 or so fliers I've received, that every scottish person in the whole world must attend. We're all supposed to go to Scotland and do stuff....?

I'm sure it would be an amazing, fun trip and I would love to go (that's why I'm making fun of all the lucky people who can go), but it would cost an arm and a leg!

The dollar isn't too healthy.

And I'm very, very cheap. No. Very thrifty.

Paul Douglas

2008-04-10T16:42:00.003-05:00

WCCO fired Paul Douglas!

He was the only reason I watched their stupid channel!

You could trust his forecasts. If he said it would snow 10 inches. Then it would snow 10 inches!

Well, now I can watch something else at 10 and not sit through boring news chat waiting for the weather report. Maybe I'll watch Scrubs instead.

I couldn't find a video of his forecasts, but.....

He's also in one of my favorite songs by Unknown Prophets- Summer Heat

Sorry -very bad video quality.

Eyes Up

2008-04-08T13:35:00.004-05:00

We do a lot of pre-MRI screening x-rays.
Our protocol for any metal grinders or metal workers are 2 waters views. One with the eyes looking up and one with the eyes looking down.

You have to wonder about the person who discovered that MRI's and metal don't mix.

"Mr. Jones in a few seconds we'll start your MRI."
"Argh, my eyes! I'm blind!"

Tech writes in notebook: Note to self---pre-screen pt.s for metal in eyes. Metal+MRI=Bad!